I get many emails every week from couples who are frustrated because they can't share female orgasm during intercourse. The most common problem is when the woman needs a lot of clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm (she may even require the assistance of a vibrator), but most love making positions just don't do the trick.
These couples feel that they are "left out" of the "special intimacy" shared by couples who can achieve simultaneous orgasm. And they want to experience HER orgasm through the special act of intercourse during love making.
The first thing I want to assure you of is that, no matter where you are in your relationship now, there are female orgasm techniques that can help a woman to achieve orgasm more quickly, more easily, and more powerfully with a little practice, and a lot of shared trust and intimacy.
If you believe the titles of some of the books, there are thousands of possible love making positions... but many (if not most) of them are nearly impossible, not particularly pleasurable, or impractical. So instead of a thousand, I'm going to talk about 3 love making positions... which I hope will be more than enough for your situation. Each of these 3 love making positions are great for couples where the woman needs a lot of clitoral stimulation.
There are many love making positions that allow manual stimulation (using your hand) of the clitoris during intercourse... and you may have discovered many of them on your own. I'm only going to talk about one of these love making positions because I think couples are already aware of this solution, but it's not quite as satisfying to them.
The one I'm going to recommend gives, I believe, the best access to the clitoris without having to balance on one arm or twist your hand around awkward angles. The set up is simple... the woman lies on her back at the edge of the bed, and the man stands on the floor between her legs.
Obviously you need a bed of about the right height, but the man can spread his legs wider to adjust for the height of most beds... but if you are sleeping on a futon the the floor... well, you might need to use the kitchen table!
This is a wonderful position for intimacy since you can see each other's faces and bodies very well, and it also happens to be a position in which most men report they can "last longer", which is an added bonus. During intercourse from this position, all 4 hands are free and that means that a wide variety of touching, stroking, petting, and hand-holding is possible... as well as clitoral stimulation by either partner.
In the next two love making positions that I'm going to discuss, no hands are required.
I don't know if the first of these love making positions has a name, but I call it "The Plank". You begin in missionary position (man on top), and the woman straightens her legs down onto the bed, while the man puts his legs OUTSIDE of her legs, and then he scoots higher on her body until his penis is angled sharply downward for penetration.
From this position, the thrusting motion should cause the top of the penis to slide against the clitoris. And some couples report that the increased friction from this position can be very intense for both partners.
The last of these love making positions was actually "designed" specifically for clitoral stimulation and it has an impressively technical sounding name: The Coital Alignment Technique, known as CAT for short. Again, for this love making position, you begin in missionary position. And again, the man scoots upwards about 6 inches so that the angle of the penis is downward.
The woman then wraps her legs (and usually crosses her ankles) low around his calves, and the man rests his body diagonally across her chest.
As with all love making positions, you must do some improvising to figure out what works best for you because no two humans are shaped just the same, and the variation between partners is going to make an infinite number of combinations to get this "just right"...From here, again, you should feel some compression of the clitoris by the top of the penis.
But here's the part that makes this love making position so unique. From this position, the woman can use the leverage of legs around his calves and her hips to rock her pelvis back and forth like a see-saw to control both the rhythm and the intensity of the compression on the clitoris.
This amount of female control is very good for allowing her to find her orgasm.
Once she has established the rhythm, the man can begin thrusting in time with the rocking motion to intensify the sensation even more. While CAT does not work for every couple, many couples who have not been able to reach orgasm during intercourse before have reported GREAT results with this love making position.
And please remember that putting pressure on a woman to have an orgasm is the surest way to prevent her from getting there. Female orgasm is not the only measure of good sex, and it is only on thing among many that will transform average "sex" to the highest forms of "making love".
As grandma used to say, play nice, be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.