Why am I feeling like such a hypocrite lately? I thought I could do this on my own…but then can I really?
Things were going very well for me, I was feeling a great inner happiness and peace because I was praying daily and reading the Bible. Going to church was really uplifting and I was really taking in the message God was giving me. I was outspoken about my beliefs and felt that I was trying to be a good example of a Christian.
As time went on, the daily Bible readings and daily prayers were getting less and less a priority, and sleeping in on Sundays felt pretty good. My poor excuse was that I had been working a new business, and was too tired…no excuse! Then slowly I felt like I was losing what actually made me so happy to begin with…the close connection to God’s greatness, along with the discussions from the Bible and about God’s direction at church. I felt like the Holy Spirit wasn’t working within to keep me on the right path, which had been the only true satisfying path.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. Matthew 11:28-29 KJV
I have friends and family that really didn’t understand what Christianity is about, and I had been discussing the truth to them before I, myself started slipping away from the best way of life I’ve had which involves having faith in God, loving to live the way I should, and to be a good example for others. Instead I was finding myself getting into a lifestyle that didn’t include God as much, and then I was a total hypocrite for even trying to discuss Christianity with them at all. I then have become so stressed and depressed about my shortcomings, I felt worthless!
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 KJV
Therefore, recently I asked God for forgiveness and another chance. Thankfully, I’m already feeling like I’m getting on the right track again, including making a point of attending church regularly.
I feel that church is a way to recharge your batteries and if you stay away too long you get weak, and forget about the goals that you need for your life. It’s about honoring God and keeping in mind what his purpose is, and to truly appreciate and be thankful for all that he does in your life.