Counselors here it all the time, How can I get him/her back? What these couples really want to know is How to make up after a break up. Usually it’s the person who has received the break up message but not always.
If someone you built a relationship with has broken up with you there are a lot of strong emotions. You probably feel angry, hurt, confused and a lot of other things. Because your emotions may be all over the place you will alternately want to cry, lash-out and maybe even break something. But if you really want to find a way to make up after a break up you need to put all those feelings aside.
The first thing you should do to have a chance of making up is not what you expect. You really need to accept what has happened. So many people live in varying stages of denial but the break up has happened. So if you want to make up you must accept that fact. This has to be a deep acceptance not just a superficial ok, we broke up. Once you have full acceptance of the break up you are ready to move on. However, this cannot be emphasized enough you must accept the break up to have any chance of a make up.
Now that you have this acceptance it is time to communicate with your ex. Do not communicate with your ex until you are prepared to say something like "I know we've broken up and you know what I think that is a good thing. We need to have some time apart." This is really the first phase to creating an opportunity for a real make up after your break up.
When you can talk to your ex calmly like this you will be reminding them of your sense of yourself and your self confidence. This is what they were attracted to in the first place. However, if you approach your ex like some weak or defeated person they will not find that attractive. In addition, you will be arousing your ex's sense of curiosity. They broke up with you. So, "how can you be so calm about it", "Why do you think it's the right thing to do?"
It may not seem like it but this is the vital first step of trying to make up after a break up. Counselors will tell you that one of the first things they try to do when counseling distressed couples is for each of them to be honest about the state of the relationship. There has to be acceptance of where they are with each other. It’s the only way to have a real chance at a make up after there's been a break up. So do your best to accept your situation. You will find it much easier to move on to make up after your break up.
Relationships are worth saving. The RIGHT relationship can be so hard to find so don't just let it slip away.
There are more tips to getting the magic back at www.dont-break-up.com
Founder and "Public Service Announcement Guy" www.dont-break-up.com