Of course, it is perfectly natural to grieve over a relationship that has ended. Even if you initiated the break up, that does not mean you cannot feel heartbroken. You might have felt real love for the person but still known that it could not work out in the long run.
So first, allow yourself to feel unhappy about the end of the relationship. And also know that it may take you a while to get over it also. There is no statute of limitations for that. You will likely experience the sadness every once in a while.
It is rare for any relationship to be all good or all bad. Take the time to inventory the one that has just ended, the good parts and the bad parts. Your feelings are only one aspect. If you can get yourself to appreciate what was good and accept what was bad, you will be on your way to recovering.
Also, take this opportunity to look back and think about whether there are things you might have done differently. Keep in mind, however, that even if you did them, things may not have gone otherwise. In many cases, neither one person nor the other was wrong or bad. Often, it was not the right fit.
Whether you wish you had done anything differently or not, it is still a good time to reflect inward. Take a good look inside and decide if there is anything you want to change, not for another person, just for you. Also consider what things you want to do that you have been putting off. Or maybe there were things you put aside because of the relationship that you want to return to.
Whenever you experience challenges in your life, you have a couple of options. You can let them throw you off course. Or you can use them as catalysts to make the changes and improvements you want in life. Using a break up as just one more challenge to help you progress will allow you to do much more than get over a broken heart.
