“How do I know if I am in love? How can I be sure? And what is love?” These are some of the hard questions a person will need to ask him/herself when making a serious decision about whether he/she wants to spend and live the rest of their lives together with that someone special.
Firstly let’s consider the few basic facts about love:
1.Love at first sight is rare. An infatuated attraction will happen immediately but true love takes time to develop.
2.Love is NOT consistent. Your emotional response to your partner/spouse will vary throughout the days, months and years.
3.You can fall in and out of love many times. But the physical and emotional attraction of “falling in love” cannot be confused with the wilful commitment to love selflessly for the person who has captured your heart.
4.Love in a marriage relationship can diminished and eventually die. Love must be nurtured and cherished over the years if it is to endure the stress of two imperfect people.
To summaries the facts, remember that love is not something that just happen; It is not just a word said, nor it is just an emotions or feelings, even though there is nothing wrong with having emotions and feelings. However if love is just to be based on emotions and feelings, it will fade away as emotions and feelings is not the anchor to real love and neither is romance (More on the topic of romance later)
Above all the anchor of love is a commitment and a wilful decision to cultivate and cherished love for each couple so that love will continue to grow in the relationship. Love is like a plant, which will wither unless it is watered daily with the person’s firm unconditional promise, decision and commitment for each other, in all good and bad circumstances.
So in every loving relationship between a couple, both parties must remember to water their love (literally with TLC – Tender Loving Care) for each other with the following characters, decisions and attitudes below:
1. Be patience, kind with one another
2. Be forgiving and keep no records of wrongs to each other
3. Do not envy or jealous, of each other
4. Do not be angry, boast, rude, selfish, or self-seeking
5. Protect, trust , perseveres and have hope for each other
Is there anything good that can come out of romance? Yes definitely in marriage is always a bonus because it is easy to build marriage if there is a physical and emotional attraction for one another. However don’t rely too much on it to grow love, especially in dating courtship, because romance and genuine love are not one and the same. Romance from a dictionary means “an emotional calling; having no basis in fact; imaginary marked by good emotional appeals”. Romance is like a grenade. Given enough time, it will explode when a person pulls the pin on the relationship because the worst possible decision to marry someone is to do it based on romantic feelings. What will you hang onto when these romantic feelings are gone?
Finally think about this question. Can you commit yourself and to give yourself completely to that someone special in your heart without guarantee that your love will produce love return back to you in the loved person? If your answer is yes to this final question, then you will know that this is love and that you are definitely sure that you are truly in love with that person.
For love is an act of faith and taking risk, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. The perfect love would be the one that gives all and expects nothing in return.
David Liong is an accomplished Marriage Celebrant,
who provides wedding service to help you get married with peace of mind on your
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