When you are facing the prospect of a divorce, or if divorce proceedings are already in full swing for you, you may be at a point where you are re-thinking the whole thing. Let's face it, divorces are emotionally painful and very costly from a financial perspective. If you have any lingering doubts about whether a divorce is the right move for you as a couple - or if you are going toward the divorce kicking and screaming all the way - then read on. Ultimately, it all boils down to forgiving your spouse so you can both move on.
If you were the one who decided to end the marriage, you may be having second thoughts now. Maybe going through the divorce process has made you reconsider whether this was the wisest thing for you to do. After all, would it be worth giving things another try? Remember, you have the "upper hand" in this situation (believe it or not). You just need to swallow your pride and apologize to your spouse. You have to explain that you acted too hastily and that you wish you had not done so. Explain that you want to reconsider the whole idea of the divorce. Let them know you acted rashly.
This might sound difficult to do at first, but it is a necessary step if you want them back. After all, if you are the one who set the ball in motion, your spouse may have by now come around to agreeing that this was the best move for the two of you. Now that you are deep into it, you need to find out just what your spouse is feeling about your situation. Make it known that you were in the wrong. You may still be able to save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.
On the other hand, if your spouse is the one who initiated the divorce, then you have a bit more work in front of you. First, you are probably feeling a lot of anger right now toward your spouse for what they have done. Well, you need to start by closing your eyes and, in your heart, forgiving your spouse for setting the divorce wheels in motion. You need to be able to explain, without judging or accusing your spouse of anything, that you believe your marriage can be saved. Even if you have already tried this and it failed, try again. Remember, a lot of what comes across to your spouse stems from how you feel, deep down inside, not just the words you say.
The important thing is to remain mature and in control of your emotions. This is, of course, not always easy to do. After all, what you are going through is an emotional thing for everyone involved. A bit of crying is probably okay, but do not let things come apart to where you are getting hysterical when you speak to your spouse. The key is to let go of the anger and resentment you feel so that you can get back to a point of forgiveness for both of you.
Once you have gotten to where both of you are willing to give things another try, it is important for you to be willing to really work on your problems. You have to agree that your relationship cannot go back to the way things were. For a start, make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were and that you are going to commit 100% to making them better.