There is a lot of argument over what the worst thing to happen to a marriage is. One of the most commonly cited things to go wrong in a marriage is infidelity.
A cheating husband or wife can definitely through a marriage for a loop. But, if you're willing to work hard to make things right cheating doesn't have to be the worst thing that could happen to your marriage.
The bottom line remains; no matter how hard you try to avoid it, this is something that could happen to you. At that point in time it becomes a matter of what now instead of what if.
How do you save your marriage once you've been caught cheating?
1) Show remorse. Don't pretend it didn't mean anything. Whether or not it meant something to you doesn't change the fact that it can mean the world to the person you cheated on. Apologize and acknowledge the seriousness of the situation. To do anything else would be to endanger any hope at all of reconciliation or saving your marriage.
2) Pay your penance. It doesn't matter what your religious beliefs may be in a situation like this. There is going to be some suffering to go through in order to get to a better place. Your spouse is going to expect a good deal of understanding and extra effort from you in order to work things out. It needs to be delivered without complaint.
3) Be patient. This isn't spilled milk. It isn't a disagreement over the perfect birthday present for the children. This is a big deal and it's going to take time and consistent effort, from both of you, to get through this and work your way to better times together. Don't push for forgiveness, trust, or even sex or it could push the other person even further away. It's not a risk worth taking if you are honestly trying to make the marriage work.
4) Tell the truth. Don't make up stories about what happened or the "other person." Be honest. If you are less than truthful now and those lies are discovered it will erode any progress that has been made and may even set you back. You'll never be able to rebuild the trust that has been lost on a bed of lies. Even if the answers might hurt it is better to tell the truth now than to be caught in another lie.
Getting caught in the act of cheating on your husband or wife puts you both in a tough situation. Some might believe you can't win or save your marriage but you really can get your ex back even though you've cheated.
